Purple Cows

Peter woke up to a riotous commotion in the house. As he walked downstairs toward the ruckus, he could hear the television turned up and both his parents discussing something in very urgent tones.

As he entered the living room, he was greeted by his grandmother standing in the doorway watching the scene before her. Sure enough, the television was on and both his parents were pacing and basically yelling over the voice of the newscaster.

“School’s been cancelled,” his granny said to him with a small smile. “Thought you might like to know.”

“What’s wrong?” He asked staring at both his parents.

“Seems there’s been a rather odd disturbance. Something about cows. I don’t really know. At my age, few things really worry me,” she said, turning from the living room and walking into the kitchen sat down to a plate of eggs and bacon. Peter followed.

As the two ate their breakfast he couldn’t help looking into the living room. His mom was now on the phone and his dad sat on the couch with both hands in his hair. Peter couldn’t imagine what the chaos was all about. He had never seen his parents like this before.

When he had finished eating, his mom appeared in the kitchen looking quite haggard. She set the phone on the counter and noticing Peter’s worried look pulled up a chair next to him and took his hand.

“Peter, things are going to be different from now on,” she said.

“What do you mean? What happened?”

“No one knows how, but every cow in the entire world turned purple overnight.”

“Purple?”

“Yes. The farmers woke up and thought some high school kids had played a joke on them by painting their cows purple. But turns out it wasn’t paint. The cows somehow changed colors from black and white to purple.” Peter, instead of finding this troublesome like his parents, wanted to laugh. He didn’t see why they were so worried. Imagining purple cows was slightly amusing.

Just then the phone rang, and his mom jumped up to answer, leaving Peter still wondering what the big deal was. It all seemed rather odd. His mother walked upstairs nw listening to whoever was on the other side of the phone. His father had gone outside to talk with the neighbors. And with his grandmother going to her own room, Peter decided to see for himself about these purple cows and stepped from the kitchen to watch the news.

The newscaster from earlier was still talking, but the screen was showing images and videos of purple cows grazing in the fields and standing in barnyards.

“It’s not just the hides of these cows, but everything about them has changed. From their noses and eyes, to their hooves. You can’t find any other color on them besides purple,” the newscaster reported.

“Thank you, Mark,” a lady said as her face appeared on the t.v. “We are getting reports that this not just happened here in the United States, but all over the world. It seems no one is safe from these purple cows.” Peter chuckled. Safe? Was she really implying that purple cows were somehow dangerous? How could they be that much different than regular cows?

He looked out the window and seeing his father standing in the middle of the street with a group of their neighbors, Peter became curious as to what they were saying.

He stepped outside and walked right up to the mass of people. His father was talking.

“Who knows what this all means. When was the last time you ate beef?” he asked one of the neighbors. “We all might be turning purple. And when we’re all purple who knows what will happen!” Peter thought his dad was being just a little overdramatic

He walked further down the street passing more and more people as they came out of their houses to talk. He could overhear their conversations as he walked. Some talked about how scientist had no explanation for it. Others were discussing how the world could all turn purple, which would destroy the environment causing the end of the world.

As he rounded the corner and passed the local church, Father Malcolm was standing on the steps screaming about how God was punishing the earth for its sins and how everyone should repent.

Peter walked around the block thinking that maybe everyone was overthinking this. He still couldn’t believe that people thought the end of the world was coming just because the cows decided to change color.

When he passed his father’s group again, a new person was addressing the neighbors. He was talking about how on a molecular level this could be catastrophic. And again, just as everyone else was saying, he predicted the end of the world.

Peter shook his head. How could people really think the end of the world because of purple cows? It was ridiculous. He walked inside his home and sat down on the couch next to his grandmother who was knitting a scarf. The news was now showing the President addressing the nation on end of the world protocol.

Peter heaved a sigh to which his grandmother asked if he wanted a glass of milk. When she brought it in for him, he was not at all shocked to see it wasn’t white but purple. He said thanks as his grandma resumed her knitting. He looked at the glass of purple milk and thought about how purple cows were going to bring about the end of the world and laughed.

How silly to think to that! He took a sip of purple milk. It tasted like regular white milk.